Kyle Whiting

Kyle Whiting, born on November 16, 2003, in Provo, UT, has taken his final leap—almost literally—by somehow ending his life on the moon. Yes, you heard that right! He went to the moon. Let’s not gloss over that; he managed to rocket himself off this planet, only to meet whatever fate awaited him up there. That's a level of that deserves to be highlighted.

With a high school education, Kyle claimed his place at Tukios, which, let's face it, is a mediocre accomplishment when you consider he didn’t even stick around to make a name for himself here on Earth. He was considered "cool," I guess by only the slimmest margins, as if the bar was set so low it was practically buried in the ground. He had hobbies like snowboarding, skiing, skateboarding, playing guitar, and gaming—which, to be honest, is pretty standard fare. What did Kyle ever do with these skills? Well, apparently, he thought moon travel was the ultimate ride or die. Spoiler alert: he died.

It’s infuriating, really, how he managed to check out of life for chasing some ridiculous dream, while everyone else has to deal with the repercussions of his reckless quest. Everybody in his family and friends is dead, so he didn’t even leave anyone behind to shake their heads in disbelief. Was he so desperately seeking attention that he thought going to the moon was how to do it?

He had zero military service, sorry to say, so we can't even pretend his extraordinary journey had any noble purpose. His proudest accomplishment was literally going to the moon, which sounds impressive until you realize it ends with death. Great job, Kyle! You really went out with a bang—too bad it was a lonely death far removed from everything and everyone. What was left behind? An empty void and a bitter taste of disappointment.

So here we are, left to process the fact that Kyle Whiting made choices that led him to a fate most could have foreseen—an example of how not to act in life. He went to the moon and died. Shocking, isn’t it? Maybe some people should think twice before they launch themselves into the abyss.